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(Afri)Genealogy Humor

June 2003

Monday, June 30, 2003

No Excuse! Award

The "GenSuck No-Excuse Award" is handed out to websites that Steve and David feel are doing a crappy job. In all these cases, there was no excuse for either sloppy service, poor presentation, stale content, broken links, or anything else sucking that is well in the control of the site's personnel. There are some conditions: the site cannot be a "personal homepage"; it must be something intended for large audiences; and of course, it must be focused on genealogy. If you have a nominee for the No-Excuse Award, please recommend a site. Steve and David will take a look at it.


Posted by Webguru @ 2:56 pm EST

Thursday, June 26, 2003

You Know You're Taking Genealogy Too Seriously If ...
  • In order to put the "final touches" on your genealogical research, you've asked all of your closest relatives to provide DNA samples.

  • You are the only person to show up at the cemetery research party with a shovel.

  • You were instrumental in having "non-genealogical use of the genealogy room copy machine" classified as a federal hate crime.

  • Your house leans slightly toward the side where your genealogical records are stored.

  • You decided to take a two-week break from genealogy, and the U.S. Postal Office immediately laid off 1,500 employees.

  • Out of respect for your best friend's unquestioned reputation for honesty and integrity, you are willing to turn off that noisy surveillance camera while she reviews your 57 genealogical research notebooks in your home. The armed security guard, however, will remain.

  • You plod merrily along "refining" your recently published family history, blissfully unaware that the number of errata pages now far exceeds the number of pages in your original publication.

  • During an ice storm and power outage, you ignore the pleas of your shivering spouse and place your last quilt around that 1886 photograph of dear Uncle George.

  • The most recent document in your "Missing Ancestors" file is a 36-page contract between you and Johnson Billboard Advertising Company.

  • Ed McMahon, several TV cameras and an envelope from Publishers Clearing House arrive at your front door on Super Bowl Sunday, and the first thing you say is, "Are you related to the McMahons of Ohio?".

  • "A Loving Family" and "Financial Security" have moved up to second and third, respectively, on your list of life's goals, but still lag far behind "Owning My Own Microfilm Reader."

  • A magical genie appears and agrees to grant your any one wish, and you ask that the 1890 census be restored.

Source: The Even Lighter Side of Genealogy
Posted by Webguru @ 5:04 pm EST

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

I'm My Own Grandpa
Hear the music!

Many, many years ago when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be.
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red.
My father fell in love with her and soon they, too, were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
For my daughter was my mother, 'cause she was my father's wife.
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
To the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my step-mother.

My father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
And he became my grand-child, 'cause he was my daughter's son.
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother too.

If my wife is my grandmother, then I am her grandchild
And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
(This has got to be the strangest thing I ever saw)
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa.

I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny I know
but it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa.

Source: Hear the music!
Posted by Webguru @ 1:36 pm EST

The Census Taker

Census Taker: "Good morning, madam, I'm taking the census."

Old Lady: "The what?"

Census Taker: "The c-e-n-s-u-s!"

Old Lady: "For lans sakes! What with tramps takin' everythin' they kin lay their han's on, young folks takin' fotygrafs of ye without so much as askin', an' impudent fellows comin' roun' as wants ter take yer senses, pretty soon there won't be nothin' left ter take, I'm thinkin'."

--1890 Harper's Weekly

Source: Genealogy
Posted by Webguru @ 12:18 pm EST

Genealogy Cartoons

Off the Mark, genealogy cartoons by Mark Parisi. Not a whole lot here but funny stuff.

Source: Off the Mark
Posted by Webguru @ 11:58 am EST

25 Jun 2003 :: 01 Sep 2007
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