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AfriGeneas Genealogy and History Forum

Research: The Good, Bad, and Ugly of it!

Depending on what side of a fence one is, that is, if there are negative thoughts and negative actions, then therefore the idea of researching into families or whatever is not the best thing here; however, we who are researching not just to find out things and to discover things, but people who are out here to do a good thing when it comes to family and friends, that is, if the mind is filled with positive thoughts, then I believe that research is good. Yet, even when we are positive, and when we are researching, things happen, because researching is like doing detective work.
I have over the years received much information as I went into the research of both the Evans and House Families, and other families allied with them. I cringed when I heard things and when those things believe it or not became fact, added with a little bit of "not sure if it really happened".
Cousins of mine who enjoyed the idea of me researching were pleased, but now they begin to see it in another way, and that goes for me as well when I did the research.
My mom was no saint at all, neither were a lot of folks, but I loved my Mom and will have her deep within my heart and memory at all times. She was pregnant by someone else back in the 1920s as a young girl, and the man she was pregnant by was married and out of town. Her mom had introduced her to a man whom she herself liked and who felt that he could provide because he was a chef on the train. So Grandma arranged a marriage between my mom, who was pregnant, and this man. However, Mom later had two more daughters, and the secret was kept as it was a secret. Later, after some years of not getting along with the man she married, mom returned to N.C., got hooked up with a man who had already had two women and had a child by each. He never married. He and Mom later through relationship had me. So I leave with that big story. Onto another story; a lady named Martha had been married three times; her fist marriage produced a daughter who later married my Mom's oldest brother; however in Martha's third marriage there was a son, who later on had relationship with my Mom's youngest sister, and so the youngest sister had a daughter. All of this transpired in N.C. in one town. It was in some ways a secret, but for those of us who came later, it remained a secret where noone spoke of it. So what I am saying is this: out of all of it, when we are doing research, nothing remains as milk and honey, nothing is done in perfection. Yet I did notice something out of the whole process LOVE. It played a beautiful factor in it all. Sure there other little stories that come out of my family, no more different than anyone else's families. So if truth be told, then go for it, but be gentle, be kind, be considerate, and above all be factual and actual and real. Peace and Blessing. Joseph


18 Dec 2002 :: 14 Nov 2008
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