Denise,

I so appreciate you e-mail! I am very much interested in finding my ancestors. Any pointers you could give me would be terrific. I have a fantasy of someday being at a family reunion where I am surrounded by the beautifully shaded members of my lost family. I know you are right, though, and that I can't be sure that there will be acceptance of this nature by either side of my varied family. I feel like it is a duty to all my forgotten mothers to try, though.

I have traced my great grandmothers to a woman in the 1700s in North Carolina, named hannah or susannah Martin (Martin was her maiden name). Beyond this, her birthplace, parents, country of origin -- all have been lost.

O n the other side of my family, my grandfather's family bears the stain of slaveholding. I have several wills from the 1700s in Virginia where slaves are willed to the next generation. I have little doubt that I am also related by blood to some of the slaves his family kept. I have physically gone to Virginia to look for African American Eddings family members in the area where my family lived for generations, but found no one, despite the fact that many African American folks I told my story to tried to help me.

So thanks again for your encouragement, any advice you can offer, and for being a kind and open person. You have indeed made me feel blessed to know there are people out there who care about my search and my need to set things right.

Dawn