Hi Nina,
Thanks for sharing this. It is saddening to see that some of us are still rejecting each other. The ancestors must be turning over in their graves at the reaction your cousin dished out to you!

But you know what? Probably in the future, that relative is going to hear about you from another relative she communicates with, giving you high praises for connecting the dots, then she is going to feel rather bad that she treated you in such a manner.

That happened to me. In 2002, my cousin and I went to the town where long-lost family members were taken during slavery, and who were forever separated from my great-great grandfather who never saw them again. We were suppose to meet up with a descendant of this family. This person, I'll call him Larry, was on the Executive Committee of their family association.

My cousin was good friends with the black historian of the county, who knew Larry personally. This friend told Larry that we were interested in meeting him, as we had documented proof that we were blood relatives and that our ancestors had been separated as slaves during slavery. Well, Larry told the friend, "my people were never slaves". I thought that was a funny comment (Yes, I laughed!), since I had the slave inventory listing our ancestors. Well, Larry told this friend that he will meet with us and was interested in what info we had.

My cousin and I drove to the town. We met up with his historian friend, but Larry never showed up at the designated time and place like he promised. He did NOT even call to let us know that he wasn't going to make it. Fast forward two weeks later...my cousin called his historian friend and he mentioned to my cousin that he has since talked with Larry, and Larry expressed that we may have been trying to "meddle in family affairs" or trying to get something from the family. I said, "huh???"

Anyway, I made contact with other people in the family who welcomed me with open arms. They thanked me profusely for clearing up a lot of things they questioned about their family history. I was even invited to the Family Reunion and asked to present some of my research findings. I attended and guess who was there? Larry. I didn't waste anytime introducing myself to him. As I reached out my hand to shake his, you can see the shame and regret in his face at how he dismissed my cousin and me. I did not inquire about the day we were suppose to meet. I just politely greeted him and moved on.

Mel