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Family Reunion Forum

Re: When Family Members Don't Respond

Hi Carole,
Trust me. I feel your agitation. Really, I do. :)

But at this point, I personally don't have the time and patience to teach grown folk how to be responsible. If they didn't get it as they progressed into adulthood, then the challenge of teaching adults responsibility, dependability, accountability, etc. is too monumental of a task for me. However, like you, I truly feel that if many family members as possible got a "taste" of what it takes to plan a reunion, then chances are good that they'll understand and will abide by the deadlines (probably). But how many of your family members willingly step up to the plate and volunteer to host the next/future reunions??

For the very first reunion, I can truly understand the necessity in having a very good estimate for attendance. For my reunions (Reed-Puryear), we've always based our expected attendance number on past reunions in order to get an estimate. We simply can not depend on many advance notices to judge attendance. In blocking rooms, we've always started off low and increased the block as needed. To date, our past hotels have allowed us to do that and this has worked for us. Even the hotel for our 2008 Reunion is allowing us to do this. We also made sure that we were not going to be charged a penalty if all rooms were not blocked. Perhaps, we've been fortunate in selecting hotels that won't stick us with a penalty if all rooms were not booked? Our past hotels just stipulated that if we hadn't filled our block by a certain date, they would just automatically release the rooms to the public. That was fine with us. Thankfully, to date, we've met our room block or booked more rooms. You may want to check to see if your hotel would be willing to do this rather than placing a clause in the contract that lets them charge a penalty.

As we take on the grave task of planning a reunion, rather large or small, there will be some things we may encounter that won't be fair at all. So, I do feel your pain. However, when you have grown folk who don't give much consideration to the planners' monumental task in making the reunion a great one, then somehow someway we have to endure and press on. It is what it is. After I was asked in 1997 to chair my family reunion - a 20-something-year-old kid just out of college - I adamantly told family members at the reunion that "I WAS NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE". Well, we see how that went... LOL!

Much success to you in your reunion.


18 Dec 2002 :: 14 Nov 2008
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