I am so glad that I found this forum! The posts are very informative and even funny.
Thanks for your suggestions. Since this reunion is every two years, I am going to suggest that Family 1 hold its own reunion in the off years. I'm also going to suggest that we have a charter.
Here comes some venting. It's not as fun as the "crazy family" string!
Part of the issue is this particular committee. The reunion founders grew up together and have been close all of their lives. The same goes for other committees. This is the first time that a younger group is planning. I'm from Family 1, the other three members (siblings and an in-law)are from Family 2. I just met them at last year's reunion. They know little or nothing about Family 1 and have only attended the two reunions hosted by Family 2 members. They have attempted to change the name of the reunion (It's always been Family 1 - Family 2, they want it to alternate be based on who is hosting). I had to point out that I was hosting too. I was handling a particular set of duties. Another member wanted to take over that area and I told her no, I would continue. She ignored me. When I followed through with my responsibilities, the member called and accused me of being a liar and a sneak and said that I "treated her like nothing" She also got angry that I told the vendor that I was the committee chair, a role I was asked to take.
At the last meeting, she said we didn't need titles like chairman, secretary or treasurer. It was obvious that they had already decided to go this route. I pointed at that the positions have specific responsibilities, but was assured that everyone is doing their part. They won't do things by concensus, only straight votes that always come out 3- 1. At that point a lightbulb went off for me. I realized that that I could either be as crazy as she is or step back and do my best to ensure that event is enjoyable AND maintain my sanity.
I chose sanity, but as you can tell by this lengthy post, this situation still gets to me. No wonder some families stop having reunions!