AfriGeneas Adoption Forum
Re: Dead end in search
In Response To: Dead end in search ()
In my search of helping others I have had a situation where the birthmother was found. She even had a family tree online with loads of information. Everything in the non identifying information matched plus some more pertinent information. The mother refuses to acknowledge that she had a child before her marriage. The adoptee had contacted her several times, and she still refuses to acknowledge her. For now, she has decided to leave it alone.
In another situation, the birthmother does not want to admit to her family that she had a son as a teen. Although the Mom for now is not accepting that she had a son (who is now deceased) I was able to locate other family members who she is now communicating with. So, this is a half of step but more than what she started with.
Sometimes initial contacts scare them. So, I would give it a little rest and then try again after the holidays. We have to remember that because an adoptee may have decided or ready to search does not mean that the birthparents, siblings, are ready too.