AYWalton: Howdy Ms. Vicky!!!
vicky: heyyy AYWalton
AYWalton: How are you doing today?
vicky: brb pouring cup of java
AYWalton: sounds good to me! what's going on with you?
vicky: ok back
AYWalton: staying busy?
vicky: how are you AYWalton
AYWalton: doing pretty good. getting good feedback from the story I posted on my blog about Finding Uncle Sephus.
vicky: I have been trying to find some indication that my father had another wife lol oh yes, I meant to go there yesterday and read your blog I will look today
AYWalton: oh really? how did you find out?
vicky: my half sister's mother the 2nd wife told her day before yesterday she came to the reunion and I guess she figured she should tell her It was the first I had heard of it I have been spending the last two days looking for clues
AYWalton: did you get the name or at least a time period when they were married? or how long the marriage lasted?
vicky: The mother did not know the name but we figured out it had to be after her divorce with him, around 1949-51 or so
vicky: she also told her that she met the new wife and she was at least 7 months pregnant
AYWalton: so does that mean that there is another sibling as well? howdy spivey!
Spivey: These family dramas are something aren't they vicky?
vicky: yep hello alt! hello 3rd
Spivey: My cousin [the one I was talking about yesterday] discovered his father had a second family in the Carolinas. Only made the discovery about two years ago.
alt: Hello vicky, AYWalton, Spivey & 3rdthawkins
vkn: Howdy all yall
Spivey: Hi alt!
vicky: hello vkn
3rdthawkins: hello alt AYWalton, Spivey, Vicky and vkn
Spivey: Howdy vkn! Hello 3rdthawkins!
vicky: on my mothers side of the family, my ggrandfather had a second family with about 4 or 5 children
3rdthawkins: checkin' in while the nieces are asleep and before we begin our day
Spivey: I didn't find that so much in the older generations in my family vicky as I am finding among the newer [1940 on ] generation.
3rdthawkins: agree Spivey, same here, that would be a good topic, I guess
Spivey: You babysitting 3rdthawkins? Wb AYWalton.
AYWalton: hello there alt, 3rd, Greetings, VKN!!!!!!!!!! thanks spivey.
vicky: This family lived in the next town which was about 20 miles away as the crow flies
3rdthawkins: I have noticed that myself, it is interesting that at some point, all of a sudden you have divorces second marriages children in second marriage........AND Death Had Nothing to Do With It Spivey No, they have been staying over here with their grandmother visiting with their cousin who just came down Monday
Spivey: I have heard of people talking about ancestors who simply abandoned one family, went to a neighboring town, and started another family. Some changed their names, some didn't vicky.
vicky: He was married to my ggrandmother These all carry the Taylor name lol
3rdthawkins: or I should say, who just came UP
Spivey: Then I have one Spivey ancestor who left Georgia, moved to California, lived with a woman there, and was travel ing back and forth impregnating both women. His wife's family refused to allow him to buried alongside her when he died.
alt: read a post secveral years back about the # of AA women listed as "widows", yet finding 2nd marriages of the supposed deceased husband...the thought was it was disgracful to be a divorced woman.
3rdthawkins: so when did the "Baby Mama/Daddy Drama" start with your family Spivey
Spivey: Back in the 1870's 3rdthawkins . I agree alt.
3rdthawkins: oh wow, I can definitely understand that too Spivey, the family unit among AA's were broken by slavery
vicky: some were not even married were they alt and listed as widows especially when the man up and left
3rdthawkins: although, culturally, African men had more than one wife, not sure if that was a genetic thing that has been passed down
alt: and a 'legacy' of slavery... men were supposed to impregnate the woman without regard to any familial ties.
Spivey: I even have a case where the father deserted the family, moved to Florida and started a new family. His wife listed herself as widowed, but when the daughter reached age, she moved to Florida to live with her dad. This was also back in the late 1800's early 1900's. alt, don't know if I buy that, especially since men are doing the same thing today.
3rdthawkins: THEN, that can be the excuse, TODAY, there's no Excuse, right Spivey
vicky: I read on one of the Freedmans Bureau rolls, 105 I think that some women filed complaints against the men taking up with other women
Spivey: Not all African tribes practiced polygamy 3rdthawkins.
3rdthawkins: good info Spivey
alt: that's the thing with slavery... a woman that has several children while enslaved... can you be fairly sure that they all had the same father, especially if the 'reported' father lived on a separate farm or plantation.
Spivey: Men need to leave that Via**** alone and raise some of the babies they're fathering. I don't think you can, alt, especially in cases where the slave master impregnated the woman.
vicky: I think so too alt
3rdthawkins: Spivey, you do have to understand, what a Son sees while growing up, he will repeat, but again, my father did not have that in his direct line, he had a father all his life, and his father had a father, his mother's father only passed as did her mother.....So No Excuse About Slavery for My dad not being there
Selma: Good afternoon everyone AY........wonderful, wonderful post on Uncle Sephus
alt: 3rdthawkins, I'm not saying this is true in all cases.. only that the man not having to be responsible in the rearing of his enslaved children has been something that I think has been carried over in the AA culture.
Spivey: That was my point, 3rdthawkins. The legacy of slavery has nothing to do with the men who go around today impregnating multiple females. Many of them are even worshipped as sports heroes and they are the ones who give sanction to that.
AYWalton: Thank you so much, Selma! I am glad that you enjoyed it. Took me days to put together as I wanted to tell his story properly.
Spivey: Okay, I see your point alt. Still not sure I agree with it though.
Selma: Well you did...
AYWalton: thanks I am glad that you enjoyed it.
alt: I'm not selling it Spivey,,, only expressing a point of view LOL LOL
Spivey: The same applies to white families as well, alt. The men are no different unless they are very well off. Even then, they practice dogmanship.
AYWalton: I have gotten some good feedback on the blog as well as via email and Facebook.
3rdthawkins: Very True Spivey, the WHITE SLAVEMASTERS aren't any different than the BLACK SLAVES
alt: yes Spivey, but again my point was that slavery as a practice did not 'exactly' embrace the need for paternal responsibilty.
Spivey: Good point 3rdthawkins. One I wasn't even thinking about. How many of them slept with multiple slave women and impregnated them? True, alt.
vicky: all cash business
Selma: Are you going to the National Archives this week AY
3rdthawkins: It Seems More of a Man/Male thing to have different women, than a Woman/Female thing
AYWalton: I want to get to College Park before the week is out, Selma. Have more letters to copy that I was working on earlier.
Spivey: I just thought of something. I really don't know about white men's faithfulness to their wives because it is not something that is discussed often. How many of these slave owners were also profligate outside their marriage to other white women?
Selma: Umm OK...I will have to look and see where something is located..will email you later today..
AYWalton: oh do you have another little gem for me to follow? you have had some good ones.
Selma: I want to follow...but yes... LOL
alt: wouldn't the fact that a man can impregnate several women during the same period of time have something to do with that 3rdthawkins.. A woman can only get pregnant basically once a year.
Selma: I should have driven up today..but have an appt tonight..and grandson's Birthday on Saturday.. LOL
3rdthawkins: Definitely alt
AYWalton: oh really?
Spivey: Therein lies your point alt, I think. We know of the slave's sexual behavior, but not of their master's outside using his/her slaves as tools.
3rdthawkins: but don't be fooled alt, women don't always know when they are pregnant, and can still sleep with a lot of men before they realize they are pregnant
Spivey: Um, alt, have you watched Maury lately? lol
3rdthawkins: lol, that's what I was thinking about Spivey
alt: can she be impregnated by more than one man in a given year 3rdthawkins?
Spivey: Yes, alt. It has happened.
AYWalton: I shall return shortly.
3rdthawkins: no alt, but she may not know who the father is
alt: Is that common or a rarity Spivey?
3rdthawkins: and remember, women are tradition pregnant only for 9 months, there are 12 months in a year, it is possible to be impregnated more than once
Spivey: Not talking about the Maury show, either. There was a case in the newspaper where the woman gave birth to one black infant and one white infant. Turns out she had sex with two different men during her fertile period. I wouldn't think it is a rarity because it can happen with any fertile female, alt. It's just that most females [I hope] don't practice that kind of behavior. The only times we hear about those cases I think, alt, is when there is a suit or something over support.
3rdthawkins: my aunt was born a few weeks before my dad even turned 1
alt: how many women can one impregnate during that 9 month period? I owuld say as many as there are days in that time period, but a woman can only give birth once during that 9 months... excluding multiple births
Spivey: Good point, 3rdthawkins. Many families have children who are 9 - 11 months apart in birth.
vicky: Did anyone see the video with Condoleeza and Aretha
Selma: I read the article..gonna watch later.
alt: I have daughters who are only 11 months apart.
Spivey: When you say a woman can only give birth once alt, are you taking into account the women who have children 1 month apart? That has also happened.
Selma: Gotta go folks..
alt: what is the 'norm' Spivey
3rdthawkins: you're right alt, it is not a Known Thing with Women as there is with Men, Men take advantage of the fact that they are not the ones to be impregnated
Spivey: the norm nowadays is very skewed from what was the norm during the period we research alt. But, some instances we mentioned here may have happened back in the 1800's too.
vicky: I love Aretha!
alt: in the histroy of mankind the normal period of gestation for humans is around 9 months Spivey...
3rdthawkins: but women can go at least a month without know they are pregnant
vicky: She is going to record a classical album
Spivey: Yes, alt.
alt: I gotta run...
3rdthawkins: I think
Spivey: Is it going to be Michael Jackson's songs do you know vicky?
alt: eye appt at 1:300
vicky: she just said opra It should be great
Spivey: MJ wrote some classical opera pieces before he died. He was going to have them recorded with a symphony orchestra. Does she have the vocal range for opera I wonder?
vicky: I used to have a casette of a sermon her dad gave years ago
Spivey: Oh, wow.
vicky: yes she does Spivey. She proved that already durnit I cant spell today lol
Spivey: I think Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey have the range. I have never heard Aretha sing a song where her range is exposed fully. I see that, durnit! Lol.
vicky: Whitney used to have the rands
Spivey: Gotcha. I wonder if she still does?
vicky: no she bombed at her last concert
3rdthawkins: alright you two, will try to catch chat tomorrow
Spivey: I heard.
Spivey: Bye. Well, vicky, shall we leave as well or do you want to talk more about Aretha? I'm going to watch that video. I saved it.
vicky: someone is in another room
Spivey: Well, I probably can't get in there, so you go ahead.
vicky: let me get them
vicky: oh well Spivey lol
Spivey: Could you get them?
vicky: no response
Spivey: Ah. I was wondering if you ever tried the web for HTML lessons? Some are very good. And, you get to do them at your leisure.
vicky: no I havent Spivey. I was hoping that the one you told me about was available but..... lol
Spivey: There are a lot out there, and, as I said, some of them take you step by step like I had. I even go back when I need to refresh myself.
vicky: I wish I had a mentor that lived next door to me lol I have to get hit in the head 3 or 4 times before I get anything
Spivey: Try this site and let me know what you think: http://www.htmlgoodies.com/primers/html/article.php/3478141
vicky: ok will do thanks
Spivey: I can at least help you along SOME. I am not the greatest and I am hesitant to ask because the answers are usually over my head.
vicky: I put in my favs
Spivey: The founder of my genealogy club is another great resource. She is good and I can help you through her too.
vicky: I better run now you have a great day
Spivey: You too. Bye.
vicky: thanks again bye
AYWalton: Well it looks like everyone has left early today. Oh well---maybe tomorrow.
vicky: hello lulady we are in the lunch bunch