Tuesday Night Chat

AfriGeneS Meeting Center

2009-03-10



Chatters


2009-03-10 20:58:38 [Login] Sadonya

58:52 [Login] 3rdThawkins

04:48 [Login] Selinva

07:15 [Login] seraph1959

12:27 [Login] rcs

16:02 [Login] afrivee

22:23 [Login] evanco

16:02 [Login] afrivee

35:52 [Login] AYWalton

38:04 [Login] STG

42:28 [Login] Jay


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Sadonya : Which surnames are you looking for? It would also help us tremendously if you can supply the states, counties and time-frames of the surnames in question. Also, please detail what research you've already done on the surnames in question. The more you tell us up front, the less we have to retrace what you've already found or know.) 


 Sadonya : good evening how are you tonight?


3rdThawkins : Hey Sadonya, it's me, sonofedd


Sadonya : oh you in disguise

excuse my spelling 

did you decide to spend some money on your research?


3rdThawkins : yeah, kind of, decided to go with a different name

I will have to, I am really counting on my grandmother's SS app to give me something, my grandmother has never told any of her children anything about herself

at least nothing that will identify her as an AA


Sadonya : that usually means she had secrets she did not want anyone to know my family is full of them but the interesting thing is.. that since every one now knows I do the research I hear all the screts so many I can not even rememeber them all

HEY There Selma


3rdThawkins : hey Selinva......or at least she kept her family info a secret

Sadonya : The secrets are usually nothing to be ashamed of


Selinva : evening Sadonya and 3rd


3rdThawkins : she passed as white, so she hid her AA heritage


Sadonya : maybe its just me... I think whatever we did made us who we are and was therefore necessary, there you go


3rdThawkins : I hate when people keep saying it's necessary, that is the most painful thing she could do to the family


seraph1959 : waving to cuz Sadonya


Sadonya : you mean necessary that she passed for white?

thanks for the beautiful obit.... wow it is great and your brother was quite handsome


3rdThawkins : to disconnect from her family and became displease when my father decided to date and marry black and view himself as black


seraph1959 : you are welcomed 


Sadonya : your situation is a very hard one.......  I agree we should never turn out backs on family 


Selinva : It was very lovely seraph..


Sadonya : this color issue has kept many family members apart

we have some color sensitive folks in my family.. if you aint light skinned they have nothing to do with you... even their own grandchildren, I think its sad


3rdThawkins : my grandfather hated AAs just because his father left the family, I guess he wanted to marry a nearly white, if not white, woman.....they both wanted to raise their children to view themselves as white he disconnected from his family also, so he moved to D.C.....speaking to at least one of my aunts really didn't help, she did give me the name of my gm's two sisters, one I believe passed as Hispanic



Sadonya : but they can be found too

hey there rcs good to see you tonight


seraph1959 : I have put it on a scr*pbook page Selinva , I made a velum pocket so I can still acess it 


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins are you light skinned, just curious?


3rdThawkins : yeah, my dad is, or was at one point, also

3rdThawkins : I think all my aunts and uncles are....looking at pics, it seem my dad turned a very light brown and his hair when from brown curly to black, etc.


Sadonya : and they were born in the south?


3rdThawkins : no, Washington, D.C.


Sadonya : hummmm that is interesting.....

time frame they were born in ?


3rdThawkins : 1950s and '60s


Sadonya : well you must be young then


3rdThawkins : yes


Sadonya : sorry about that


3rdThawkins : :)  that's cool


Sadonya : I now see your situation a little more clearly

yes the SS apps are you first and best step to get back a generation


3rdThawkins : ok, yeah..


Sadonya : has everyone had a good week of research?

good evening evanco good to have you tonight

lol @ vee


seraph1959 : I have gathered and printed a bunch of photos for heritage scr*pbooking have been thinking about the journaling I will put with each page


Sadonya : wow that sounds fantastic seraph1959 


Selinva : You have a lot of projects seraph..must have lots of energy


Sadonya : are these photos of family members?


evanco : hey how are you doing on the heritage scr*pbooking? I have been thinking about getting mine together and put it on as a display at the family reunion.


3rdThawkins : I wish you could join us for lunch Sadonya, we've had some pretty good discussions, mostly on passing white and things like that......I was reading the discussion Pasing for White onthe Wolrd Research forum last week started in 2003,


evanco : 3rdThawkins, that subject was very interesting....


 3rdThawkins : that's what really encouraged me to tell mine, I didn't think there was any one, and so many that were going through the same thing I was that was dealing with it


Sadonya : I get offended when someone calls me yellow.. believe me I am no where near yellow... my skin has a red tint to it but very brown


seraph1959 : yes photos of family , it is going well , I display them as soon as I get a few done


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins in the south its very very common


3rdThawkins : I hope someone calls me yellow, I seem to look to white for anyone to just see that I am not white


Sadonya : but usually folks left the south moved north and passed


evanco : I am very lightskinned....most folks call lightskinned people, especially those who are lightskinned females, redbone.


Sadonya : up north maybe evanco but not down south


evanco : As stated, I am lightskinned, but I cannot pass for white, and if I could, I probably would not.


Sadonya : evanco that is an interesting statement.. .whereas now a days does not mean a lot back in the day .. it could mean your survivial if you could


3rdThawkins : I grew up where being white was actually a bad thing, just because of the issue of racism that has been associated with whites


evanco : Sadonya, some of a certain family who are lightskinned are called many names. In Maryland and Virginia we have Proctors, Savoy, Tapscott.


Sadonya : Down South...... you are unwittenly taught white is right and black better get back you have to be strong to overcome that negativism


evanco : Down South....white is right, black you get back, brown you stick around....crazy.


3rdThawkins : so it was very difficult when people did not see me as black just because I didn't have dark skin....that's one of those things that make you not want to even be black and want to accept the notion that you are white


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins hummmmm I understand where you are coming from


3rdThawkins : some people can make black like some secret society, you have to have dark skinn in order to be black


evanco : Back in the 1960s/1970s, some lightskinned folks did everything to prove their blackness, even grow afros and wear dashikis.:) 


Sadonya : I was a young adult in the 70's the era of "I'm Black and I'm Proud"

3rdThawkins if you were born about 40 years earlier you might have had a different outlook on your family


3rdThawkins : why/how is that?


Sadonya : Black was almost invisible then

 you had to work the system to just survive

a black man had it especially hard


evanco : Most people get hung up on a lot of things when they should not. Even within your own family people tended to get real nasty when it came to skin color, or the way a person looked. Understand?


3rdThawkins : it doesn't justify the situation Sadonya


evanco : Sadonya, you mean all black men, right?


Sadonya : yes


evanco : Sadonya, regardless of his skin color, right?


Sadonya : the one drop rule Plekker put in force made a lot of people sub human in their eyes

right


3rdThawkins : I will agree that had my dad dated/married white women and I was white, I would have a different outlook


Sadonya : according to Plekker even in that instance you would have still been black


evanco : Speaking of that one 3rdThawkins, how do you really feel about a black man dating a white woman? Or how would you feel if a black woman dated a white man? Is there a difference?


Sadonya : evanco we ain’t going to go there to each his own


 3rdThawkins : It matters to me, only how I was raised, in my family, mother, etc. my outlook is to look at it as bad for some reason, I'm trying to get out of that thought


AYWalton : Good evening all.


Sadonya : Hey Angela good to see you


3rdThawkins : it's ok Sadonya, it's a great question, thanks for asking evanco, makes me think


AYWalton : Good to be here.


3rdThawkins : hey Walton, haven't seen you here in a while


evanco : Get out of it 3rdThawkins, and simply look at it this way, that you are human, and that each day we thank God for being with us all.


Sadonya : we are discussing blacks that passed for white... 3rdThawkins  had a few in his family and is a very young man and does not understand why they would do such a thing


3rdThawkins : but I can't really see anything wrong with it, as long as they love each other, I would rather date/marry black though, just what I''m use to be around, a good ol' strong black woman. In my whole life, I only seen negative views of white women


Sadonya : good for you

now back to the subject....... why folks passed for white


evanco : Speaking of the passing for white thing, I sometimes wonder how a person really feels when he or she does it. It is just like that book I read The Human Stain, and that is exactly what it is.


 Sadonya : Hello STG any new finds this week?

:seraph1959 did you answer the question about the photos you have I missed it


evanco : This issue really is a part of those persons way back when one through a variety of situations had to.  Let me call it the Pinky Syndrome, you know from the movie Pinky starring Ethel Waters. Or the one about the girl in Imitation of Life, who felt that sh


AYWalton : It is sometimes referred to as "the Tragic Mulatto" syndrome.


 evanco : The girl in Imitation of Life who felt that she was white. Or the book Sweeter the Juice, where a woman's mother's people passed for white.



seraph1959 : I did some of the photos are current , other are from 1950 and 1960's Most will focus on my Aunt and Uncle and the recent one are of my brother .


 evanco : Question: If you could, if you really could, would you want to do that? Why?


AYWalton : That book was particularly enligtening, evanco, particularly because the "white" siblings that Shirley Haizlip found had lived sad miserable lives----white lives nad miserable lives.


Sadonya : evanco that poor girl did not think she was white.. she was using her light color to get what she knew she could not if they knew she was black


3rdThawkins : I agree Sadonya, otherwise she would not have cared that her mother died...



AYWalton : Same thing with Cane River.

in Cane River, the daughters pledged to "stay light and white" and let no Negro touch their hair----and they died sad lonely women...light/white, and all alone.when the brother finally realized that he was not accepted and still perceived as a black man---he became a black man, married a black woman and carried the line forward.



Sadonya : who you are inside is what really matters whatever reason people had to do what they did... we have to remember it was their choice


seraph1959 : This disconnection from family who can not pass seems liked itwould have been unbearable , but with time I guess people just cut themselves off from family and lived a pretend life that they made up as they went along


3rdThawkins : evanco, I would have to have a reason, I wasn't raised to think that way, I wish I was raised just to accept and be proud of my heritage, wish is many


Sadonya : seraph1959 right


3rdThawkins : family on my mother AND father's side were and are broken


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins yes that is so important...  one of the hardest things for me to accept of my family was the Indian connection  which I got from Angela..... thanks a heap lol


 AYWalton : 3rdThawkins, you are fortunate, to have been raised in such a way. Many of us recall the elders who had problems with the word "black" and who wanted no acknowledgement of having heritage that was African. And we still hear the words "good hair, and bad hair."  You are fortunate, indeed.


evanco : Even if I was a selfish person, I could not pass for somethng that I am not. It tends to make one feel a little bit dirty, not to take away the situations that some folks actually had to go through.


AYWalton : well Sadonya, you got the documented proof of your ties to Indian Territory.

Which many cannot proove, they will simply claim. which is where the problems start


Sadonya : oh I know

 3rdThawkins was raised at a time when it was bad to be white amung blacks so he can not imagine 


evanco : Question: Wonder how the person who wrote the book "Black Like Me" felt when he passed for black just to see how we existed.


AYWalton : I see.


Sadonya : I can answer that I saw him interviewed


AYWalton : What ishappening in Southern Alabama?  Some kind of multiple shooting down there?


Sadonya : really I was down there last week


evanco : A white man passed for black in "Black Like Me" which was also a movie.


3rdThawkins : I think my family, my mother, had such a negative view of whites, that she could not show or tell whites in a good light, she still has a little bit of racism in her, I try to get it out of her...........she's "Black" old school, she's still seeing white people from the 50s and 60s, and not from Today


AYWalton : I remember the story from yeras go.


Sadonya : evanco he said that even tho he found out a little about what it felt light he actually will never know the full effect of what it is light because he can always go back to being white


evanco : 3rdThawkins, I try not to have too many negative views of anyone. I will tret people as I would want to be treated.


3rdThawkins : yeah, that's what I'm trying to learn, its hard when you grow up in a family with one view, I need to get out more into the world and see other views, not just ONE


evanco : True that, Sadonya.  He really never found out about us "soulfully".


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins you can not change her.. my daughter says the same thing about me... I am not racisit but I know what I have been through


 3rdThawkins : yeah, soundS like my mother


evanco : 3rdThawkins, go for it....get out there and see that "world".


Sadonya : I went to an all white school when I was in 10th & 11th grade

3rdThawkins your mother knows she can not trust the old white man

 there are many that have changed the younger generation is different


 evanco : We people of color are not racist, though we do carry with us our own prejudices and biases, and ofttimes we do have a mistrust of those whites whom we know will abuse us and will hate us.


seraph1959 : Sadonya do you feel you have a general distrust of white culture or specific folks? 


3rdThawkins : well, she's not too bad now, but there is a little bit in her, she's not all about "the white man", to her, in general, it's people, but she stil lhas the "that's how they are..." thing going on


Sadonya : I will say this  forgive me... but I could not date a white man because of slavery.. when I look at a white man I think.. that if this were slavery I would have no choice.. but now I do and it NO WAY JOSE

seraph1959 I distrust based on what a person does

so you could say specific folks


3rdThawkins : Well, my mother isn't like that


AYWalton : Evanco, why do you say that people of color cannot be racist?  Are you speaking about the perspective of power?  And what is racism that one race can be race-ist and another race has no capability of being race-ist?


evanco : Sadonya, I do intend to learn about people regardless of what the color is, or the religion, etc.


seraph1959 : I think my prejudice was/is mainly based on politics , government etc. my personal relationships with a few exceptions have been good


3rdThawkins : I think that would be my distrust of white people seraph1959 


Sadonya : I am a people person I study people and there are things specific to whites blacks don't do and vice versa


evanco : Power, AYWalton. Some of our own scholars have defined it as such. It is defined as those who do have the power and much of the white system has that. Matter of fact there are some whites who cannot even go against system.


Sadonya : seraph1959 I wish I could say that

 has anyone read the book "Stupid White Men"


AYWalton : Yes, I have heard that theory and wondered if that was the perspective that you were speaking from.


3rdThawkins : No but I've seen stupid white men lol


Sadonya : you should read that book written by a white man 


evanco : So what happens now if I passed for white, I wonder if I could become a part of that power called Racism.


 AYWalton : Frankly all faults human are faults that all humans can commit.

Hahahahaha Sadonya that is pretty good! :) 


evanco : My answer to my own question would be 'no' because as stated, not all whites can be a part of that Racist system.


Sadonya : trying to remember the authors name

Michael Moore


 3rdThawkins : I remember I cut all my head off once and was talking to this little kid, his brother looked out and saw me and I think he thought I was a skinhead HEAD-HAIR


Sadonya : oh my


evanco : The one thing that I can say to most of this topic on passing for white is this..do not pretend what you are not, be true to yourself, and above all love who you are and you will always succeed in this world.


AYWalton : hahahaha I was wondering how you were pulling off still being here, 3redThawkins, without your head!


 3rdThawkins : he told his brother no he couldn't go out and pulled him inside


evanco : 3rdThawkins, as I move on, I will put this personally to you and that is to be yourself, love yourself, and never pretend to be what you are not.


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins to be honest. if you have white blood and black blood you should be able to call yourself which ever color you want.... you are both and which one you lean too.. is your business..... as long as you don't deny where you came from


3rdThawkins : I'm not, but I have to find myself first, there are a lot of questions and I would liek to have answers


AYWalton : 3rdThawkins, what is your family history---is your family lineage one that is multi-racial?


3rdThawkins : Sadonya, do I really have white blood, or just descended from a white person? I mean, I am descended from an Native American, does that make me Indian?


evanco : 3rdThawkins, you are not lost so you do not have find yourself, because you have been there all of the time...


3rdThawkins : AYWalton, yes, pretty much


Sadonya : yes you have the blood of all your ancestors


AYWalton : do you live within one particular cultural context?


evanco : 3rdThawkins, they are all in my family too:Germans, Irish, Native American, African, and maybe some others I do not know. Yet, I am ME!


3rdThawkins : paternal grandfather is mixed AA and NA, grandmother part Irish part AA (I believe), my mother is black.....yes, I live with my mother who is AA


 AYWalton : did you grow up in one particular culture more than others?


3rdThawkins : either way, if I lived with my mother or father, I would have lived around African Americans..........yes I did but it was hard not being accepted by other black kids


 AYWalton : nothing wrong with any of your cultural ties.  Find your level of comfort, be true to your own feelings, and don't compromise your own sense of self.


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins your cultural inflence is AA but you are all those cultures


AYWalton : Children are often not kind even among one single culture.

In fact, children can be painfully cruel. The home is most important, that is where you find your peace and get your guidance are you pursuing your family history at this point?


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins and if you had lived 40 years ago you would have been more accpeted being light skinned and given special privillages

3rdThawkins : yeah, that was hard, that's one thing I wish my dad was here, my brothers, even the one who has the same father as me, was black, I was the only light skin kid around


3rdThawkins : AYWalton, yes


AYWalton : where did you grow up, 3rdThawkins? What city/town?


3rdThawkins : butg meeting me sister this past August and talking with her was great, she was very tan brown and experienced similiar situations that I did, so it was great talking to her and knowing she went through the same things AYWalton Wash, D.C., Tulsa, OK


AYWalton : DC?  That is a pretty diverse city. And Tulsa--well they are all over the place.

In Tulsa everybody wants to be Cherokee or Creek, and most of the black folks have ties to the Cherokee Freedmen.


3rdThawkins : yeah, one kid in elementery in D.C. called out to me "Hey White Boy!!"


AYWalton : Don't worry yourself with silly folks who are lost---they were often speaking from their own feelings of being inadequate or maybe feeling threatened. do you still live in Oklahoma?


3rdThawkins : that's cool, it's been a long time ago, I'm not worrying about that.......no I don't I'm in TN right now


AYWalton : OH ok.


Sadonya : not to far from me but wont sa  where


AYWalton : I see.There is supposed to be a big conference in Tennessee next year.

I think it is the NGS conference for 2010.


3rdThawkins : oh yeah, I do remember you are in TN also


Sadonya : really where 


AYWalton : in Knoxville, I think.


Sadonya : wonderful close enough for me to go

I don't think I going to make Ft Wayne would cost me too much money


AYWalton : there is a free all day seminar on Afr. Am. genealogy in Raleigh in May.


Sadonya : I would rather go to DC get a few more pension files


Sadonya : this year?


 AYWalton : that looks to be an interesting event in Ft. Wayne, Sadonya.

First international summit in history.could be worthwhile.

did you submit a proposal to present?


Sadonya : no 

present what?


AYWalton : well your research in Elbert County GA, for example.

you have done a great job with that.

 Plus you could also present a workshop for professional genealogists.

seriously, it's true.I am anxious to see what their schedule will look like.


Jay : Are you presenting, Angela?


AYWalton : I am waiting to find out if my proposals were accepted. They will notify submitters this month.


Jay : Oh, I see:  I'm sure you'll be successful.  I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.  Hopefully, as many people as possible will make it.


AYWalton : This promises to be one of the largest gatherings of genealogists ever brought together.  I hope so.


seraph1959 : Site says by March 28th


AYWalton : so in a couple of weeks we will know. I guess that is when they will put up a prelimary schedule.


3rdThawkins : I don't know if I mentioned to you guys, I know I did to lunchbunchers....I'm using peoplefinder sites to determine DOBs for my aunts and uncles


AYWalton : Anyone going to NGS in May?

3rdThawkins, what era or what  years were they living?


Jay : I was just saying earlier that I'd better go ahead and officially request the days off from work before something unforeseeable hits the schedule.  

AYWalton : that sound like a plan for sure.


3rdThawkins : they are still living only one have passed just recently


AYWalton : Oops I just realized the time. I have to make a call.


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins its great if you sure you have the right person

I use it all the time


 AYWalton : Sorry to leave so quickly everyone.Good night to all.


3rdThawkins : Sadonya, oh yes, I know all of their names, first/middle/last, found my grandparents obit, I used it to search peple finder sites to determine age and thereforfe year born, I used zabasearch to find birth months for some, so know I'm looking for DOBs know-now


Jay : sonofedd, would you consider reaching out to them?


Sadonya : I use all of those someimes the dates are not accurate


3rdThawkins : I talked to one, and she explained that they do not talk to each other and everyone lives with their own families and their own life, and no one knows anythings....I am not gonig to mess with them, as my aunt said, I';m going to leave people alone


Jay : Okay, I see.  


3rdThawkins : Sadonya, yes, believe me, the ages are correct, and they change the same exact day as the person's birthday


Sadonya : thats great

 3rdThawkins you have a difficult situation but in every family you have someone that will talk .. you just go to find that one


 3rdThawkins : yes Sadonya, my aunt talked, but she did not know a lot, she gave me little, that's all she knew, and I doubt that my other aunts and uncles would know anymore than her


Sadonya : you have to talk to each family

thats what I do.. I have a lot of disconnected family for reasons similar but not like yours


3rdThawkins : but in this family, you have to watch who you talk to, not everyone will receive you, there's such people as "cool aunt" and "cool uncle"


Sadonya : a good way to get folks to talk is to talk about nothing that leads to something

works for me every time


3rdThawkins : they have to first even want to talk Sadonya


Jay : I'd better get going.  I had just gotten in from work when I signed on.  Good speaking with all of you good people ALL of the time, even sight unseen.  :-)   Happy Birthday Seraph!!!  :-)  Have a great night all!


Sadonya : I called a lady (a stranger) she said to me I do not know you so I am not going to tell you anything.. but before I got off the phone with this lady she had given me an ear full seraph1959 didn't know it was your birthday.. . Happy Birthday


3rdThawkins : my next best person is the aunt who spent the longest around my grandparents, but I cannot get in contact with her...she lived around them until they passed. happy B-DAy Seraph


seraph1959 : thanks Sadonya and 3rdThawkins yes its the big 50 :-)


3rdThawkins : wow! the golden age


seraph1959 : rofl  guess I have to act like an adult now :-)


 STG : says who lol


Sadonya : seraph1959 did you throw yourself a party I'm with nSTG 


seraph1959 : Not today party will be later this month , during spring break 


Sadonya : I had a 50 party wanted to have a double nickle party but my grandddaughter was born that day so I got a bigger gift instead


STG : awwww


Sadonya : there you go


seraph1959 : Took the day off , had to get new tires for my car ...life goes on LOL


3rdThawkins : what better gift is there than that??


Sadonya : lol

 yeah 3rdThawkins  a grandchild born on my birthday and that kid is a mess

 too much like her grandma


3rdThawkins : I was almost born on my oldest brother's birthday, just one day before his


 Sadonya : I was born 2 days before my mothers birthday and my daughter was born one day after mine and my granddaughter on my birthday


3rdThawkins : wow, interesting.......


STG : no excuse for forgetting lol


Sadonya : for sure


seraph1959 : One brother born on my mom's birthday


3rdThawkins : I know, right STG lol


STG : I barely keep up with birthdays


3rdThawkins : four of my brothers have birthdays in Jan, one for every week lol


STG : I'm just gonna say Happy New Year and happ birthday!


Sadonya : yeah but my husband could never remember if my birthday was the 19th or the 20th for 20 years


STG : that'll get them all at least he tried


Sadonya : but better not forget his..... hummmmmm


93rdThawkins : my sister, the one I met this past August, she said she was almost born on my birthday, but she was a late baby she she was born sixteen days after me


Sadonya : wow

 she younger than you?


3rdThawkins : no, older, my dad had two other kids before my brother and me


Sadonya : okay


seraph1959 : Night folks this "old lady" is tired LOL happy ancestor hunting 


STG : nite


3rdThawkins : ok seraph


 Sadonya : STG you have not had a lot to say tonight... did you have something you wanted to talk about?


STG : no I just come in to listen :d


3rdThawkins : STG is always queit, she's quiet at lunch, she's quiet on Sat night, she's just a Small Town Quiet Girl  lol


Sadonya : well so am I 


STG : it's the quiet ones ya gotta watch out for LOL


3rdThawkins : yeah, you're right.......


Sadonya : now don't feed into that myth

 when I was young they use to say... you got to watch the quiet ones they sneaky


STG : well maybe it's just me


Sadonya : I hate when they said that I aint sneaky..... I'm gonna do what I do


STG : people tend to overlook us  and forget we're there so you get the juice sometimes


Sadonya : STG true


3rdThawkins : yeah, but sometimes the people who aren't quiet don't wanna feel like they're leaving anyone out......I'm quiet in person, but I try not to be, that's something I really want to work on, being more out going and talking more, especially around family and and important, serious moments


STG : I totally enjoy sitting back and observing people as opposed to talking to them


Sadonya :  3rdThawkins as you get older that skill grows what brought me out is this

I went to get my car fixed, I sat on a couch being invisible like I always felt I was... a man came in... walked all around the place a couple of times... then sat by me and proceeded to tell me his lifes story did want me to respond just listennI determined he pegged me as someone that would listen and not talk  3rdThawkins just observe people and look like you are in deep thought you will be surprised what people will tell you


3rdThawkins : well, mine is different, it's just the way I've been treated tht made me less likely to talk and tell how I feel, I need to be more talkative, don't want to miss out on the conversation and what's going on....it's something I have to work on and come out o


Sadonya : 3rdThawkins thats good but listen more than you talk.. you learn more that way


3rdThawkins : it's not about being observant, it's more fading in the background and being into myself and in my own world, but I can't do that I have to be involved in what's going on more of being intimidated by others


Sadonya : yeah I hear you and you would be surprised that even if you into yourself.... if you around people they think you are into them .. .listen long enough to give some intelliegent response and keep them talking I use to be like that then I learn aint nobody better than me.. .I am just as important .. and it aint important that people know what I think but don't push me I might tell you


 3rdThawkins : well Sadonya, it was a great discussion, I will catch up with you next time, good nite...


Sadonya : good night have a good week


3rdThawkins : you too


2009-03-10 23:05:55 [Disconnect] Sadonya


Tuesday Night Chat

AfriGeneS Meeting Center

2009-03-10


Tuesday Night Chat

AfriGeneS Meeting Center

2009-03-10